Gently Engage Others

#6 Gently Engage Others – “Restoration”
Peacemaker Ministries     Resolving Conflict Series

I. Recap -The Gospel difference in relationships

1. Go to Higher Ground – Glorify God

1 Corinthians 10:31…whatever we do, do it all for the glory of God

2. Get Real - Get the Log out of My Own Eye

II. Gently Engaging Others

Galatians 6:1 ….those who are spiritual are to gently restore

1. Our calling is to assist others to see their sin.
2. “Do not judge” me is often misused.
3. Rarely hear people say thank you! - “I want to be Christ-like.”
4. Goes against American view of independence.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer - Nothing is so cruel as the “tenderness” that consigns another to his sin.  Nothing can be more compassionate than the rebuke that calls a brother back from the path of sin.

III. Going To Gently Engage and Restore (Matthew 18)Matthew 18:15-20                 Page #978

1. Step One - Go talk face to face in private.   18:15

A. Remember that we see the behavior, not the motive.
B. Attack the sin issue and not the relationship. (PAUSE)
C. Go with humility, gentleness, truth and grace.
D. Stay away from “he said” or “I heard” if possible

~ Observation
~ Effect
~ Why wrong and a Godly solution (God’s perspective)

E. Often we can go with more questions than assertions.
F. Give hope in the Gospel.
G. Celebrate repentance and winning back a brother.

2. Step Two - Go with others.  18:16

A. Others can assist when the situation is too heated.
B. Witnesses are there to observe and ask questions.
C. Focus on Christ’s name and our witness to the world.
D. Bring God’s Word and prayer into the situation.
E. Ask and look for brokenness, repentance and faith.

3. Step Three – Go before the Church

A. Last resort after much pleading and prayer
B. This is God’s way of purifying us.

1 Corinthians 5:1-5  - It is actually reported that there is immorality among you, and immorality of such a kind as does not exist even among the Gentiles…You have become arrogant and have not mourned instead, so that the one who had done this deed would be removed from your midst.

5 deliver such a one to Satan for the destruction of his flesh, so that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus.

C. Often this step brings real repentance and restoration.
D. The restoration needs to be at least as big as the sin.
E. These three steps always please and honor God.

IV.   How to receive Gentle Rebuke

1. Admit where wrong.

Hebrews 12:1 - Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us

2. Ask for more.
3. Ask for forgiveness.
4. Accept the consequences.

Hebrews 12:11 - All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness.

5. Ask God to transform you and heal the relationship.

Proverbs 29:23 - A person's pride will humiliate him, but a humble spirit gains honor.

                                  Faith Sheet

Transformation Verse - So then we pursue the things which make for peace and the building up of one another.                    Romans 14:19 (NASB)

Times with the Lord this week - If you have extra time, look up the cross references with the Transformation Scripture.

#1- Reviewing this Past Sunday  

1. Read Galatians 6:1. Why must the Spirit lead us in restoration?
2. Review the PAUSE acronym. How would this assist you in addressing conflict?
3. Why do we often choose to talk about others than to talk to them?

# 2- Preparing for Next Sunday
Get Together & Be Reconciled - Peacemaker Ministries
Resolving Conflict Series

1. Read Matthew 5:23-24. What is important to the Lord?
2. Why do many professing Christians choose not to reconcile even though it hurts Christ’s name?
3. What is the difference between reconciliation and forgiveness?