New Way of Thinking

#2 New Way of Thinking – Peacemaker Ministries
Resolving Conflict Series

I. Understanding Our Responses to Conflict

1. Avoid “Clam up” - Withdraw, run, escape, evade

2. Attack “Cut up” - I will assault you in some manner


II. “Escape” Responses – Running and Being Comfortable

1. Denial – Pretend, be quiet and hope it goes away

2. Flee – Just go elsewhere


III. Fight – I Will “Win” - Victory is Crucial

1. Blame – It is your fault - you are wrong, selfish, foolish…”

2. Assault – Usually verbal and can be physical


IV. Another Approach – Seek Biblical Restoration

1. Reconciliation – God and our testimony are the priorities.

2. The spiritual welfare of others is important.


V. Dealing with Conflicts – A Great First Step

1. Overlooking an offense is often the most “Christ-like decision”

Proverbs 19:11 - A man’s discretion makes him slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook a transgression.

2. Am I allowed to overlook the offense?

Is it causing serious harm to the Relationship?
…to Others?
…to the Individual?
…to “God’s Name”?

Proverbs 24:6 - For by wise guidance you will wage war, And in abundance of counselors there is victory.

1 Peter 1:16 - Because it is written, "YOU SHALL BE HOLY, FOR I AM HOLY."

Acts 5:13 - No one else dared join them, even though they were highly regarded by the people.  


Mike Yaconelli: "I would like to suggest that the Church become a place of terror again; a place where God continually has to tell us, "Fear not"; a place where our relationship with God is not a simple belief or a doctrine or theology, it is God's burning presence in our lives.I am suggesting that the tame God of relevance be replaced by the God whose very presence shatters our egos into dust, burns our sin into ashes, and strips us naked to reveal the real person within. The Church needs to become a gloriously dangerous place where nothing is safe in God's presence except us.


VI. The Four G’s – Learn and Write them Somewhere

1. “Glorify God” (Pleasing God in this conflict)

1 Corinthians 10:3 - Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.

2. “Get the log out of my own eye” (My contribution)

Matthew 7:5 - You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.

3. “Gently Restore”(Assist others to take responsibility)

Galatians 6:1 - Brethren, even if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness…..

4. Go to be “Reconciled”(Being right or comfortable)

Oswald Chambers - Jesus does not mention the other person— He says for you to go. It is not a matter of your rights. The true mark of the saint is that he can waive his own rights and obey the Lord Jesus.

Matthew 5:9-26


                                                         Faith Sheet

 Transformation Verse - …do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men.  Colossians 3:23 (NASB) 

Times with the Lord this week - If you have extra time, look up the cross references with the Transformation Scripture.

#1- Reviewing this Past Sunday

New Way of Thinking – Peacemaker Ministries

1. Read Matthew 5:21-26. What do you see here concerning conflict resolution?
2. What were you taught in the churches you have attended in the past concerning how to address conflict as you watched the leaders and the people?
3. What do you lack in getting equipped to Biblically handle conflict with others?

# 2- Preparing for Next Sunday

Go to Higher Ground (Glorify God) – Peacemaker Ministries

1. Read Psalm 72:19 and Isaiah 42:8. What is said about God?
2. What does it mean that He is glorious above all else?
3. How would giving glory to someone other than God influence how we address conflict?Read Prov. 29:25 and use it as a prayer.